Y2K Song

Author Unknown

(Warning:  There are three "bad words" in

this song:  "hell,"  "gosh" and "Macintosh"!)

  (Sung to the tune of "Gilligan's Island")

  
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale of the doom that is our fate,
That started when programmers used
Two digits for a date.  Two digits for a date.

Main memory was smaller then; Hard disks were smaller, too.
"Four digits are extravagant,
So let's get by with two.  So let's get by with two."

"This works through 1999," the programmers did say.
"Unless we rewrite before that
It all will go away.  It all will go away."

But management had not a clue: "It works fine now, you bet!
A rewrite is a straight expense;
We won't do it just yet.  We won't do it just yet."

Now when 2,000 rolls around it all goes straight to hell,
For zero's less than ninety-nine,
As anyone can tell.  As anyone can tell.

The mail won't bring your pension check. It won't be sent to you,
When you're no longer sixty-eight,
But minus thirty-two.  But minus thirty-two.

The problems we're about to face are frightening, for sure.
And reading every line of code's
The only certain cure.  The only certain cure.

There's not much time, there's too much code,
(And COBOL-coders, few).
When the century is finished with,
We may be finished, too.  We may be finished, too.

The way to get the time we need I now propose to you:
A Daylight Savings decade,
Or maybe even two.  Or maybe even two.

8,000 from now I hope that things weren't left too late,
And people aren't lamenting
Four digits for a date.  Four digits for a date.

There is one way to fix this mess; I've got it now, by gosh!
If you want 4 digits for a date
Then get a Macintosh!  Then get a Macintosh!

Y2K Solution

Via Etch-a-Sketch

Author Unknown

1. No Y2K problems.
2. No technical glitches, keeping work from being done.
3. No more wasted time reading and writing E-mails.
4. Substantial hardware cost savings.
   

Frequently Asked Questions

from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:
   

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. What do I do?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: DON'T SHAKE IT!!