Am I Doing More Harm Than Good?

or

Is it time to

stop homeschooling

and just

put them in school?

by Teresa Ward

and

Barbara Edtl Shelton

Dear Teresa,

My name's Teresa Ward and I'm Barb Shelton's online secretary, list shepherdess, student, and best of all, friend.   I am so blessed to be able to help her, by helping you!! 

When I began homeschooling, I had the same thought as you, I'd do this until I was doing more harm than good.  I've since found that if I do nothing but love my children all day, then I am doing more good than harm, and I'm doing more good than anyone else can possibly do. 

I feel you are probably in an anticlimactic situation with the recent marriage of your daughter.  Suddenly you realize how short the years really are, and you've been busy with all the wedding planning, and now you're in a state of panic.  Good!   Now that God has your attention...  <G> ...take a deep breath & relax!!!  He knows what's going on with you, and He knows the good land of milk & honey where He wishes to lead you.

You're in the first right place...Barb's website...www.HomeschoolOasis.com

Here you will find many refreshing articles.  They will calm & soothe your soul, and give your academic muscles a good massage!  <G>  You will find your mind renewed as to what God really considers an education, which is far different than how the world defines it.  This is not to say that you've been wrong thus far, but now He has you where He can lead you to a new pasture.

Please don't be afraid that any of your children are *behind.*  That thinking assumes that children learn along a straight continuum, instead of how they really learn.  It also assumes that everyone is the same, while we know each one is created as a unique individual...never been another one like him, and never will there be another!!!

While you get yourself along the "Season of Re-Education and Renewing the Mind"  http://www.homeschooloasis.com/barb_sheltons_homeschool_course_intro.htm
your children can be doing their own renewal with "Productive Free Time."  This just means that they aren't vegging out in front of electronics while you're learning.  <G>  Here is a page of ideas:  http://www.homeschooloasis.com/art_ideas_for_prac_real-life_hsing.htm

Barb also wrote a book called "The Homeschool Jumpstart Navigator for Younger Children" to give you some ideas of productive things for younger children to do while you are Renewing Your Mind.  The Jumpstart Navigator for Older Children is now part of "Senior High:  A Home-Designed Form+U+La,"  a book you'll want to get ASAP.

Now, I'm sure you've already learned from reading some of the articles at Barb's website, that this is NOT school-at-home.  And your experience with homeschooling probably is, and certainly it is most likely that other local homeschoolers actually do school-at-home.  That makes it hard to find support for this new (really old) way of thinking about education (really discipleship).  Guess what?  God's already got that covered, too!!!! 

There are several email lists based upon Barb's writings for high schoolers and for younger children.  You can read about them here:  http://www.homeschooloasis.com/email_list_options.htm
And you can join by clicking on the appropriate links.  Feel free to join as many as you like.  <G>   They are places to go to ask questions of those who have already experienced what you're going through & can point you in the right direction, which is God of course, but they'll give you some wonderful examples & advice to help you along!  I sure hope to see you there SOON!!!!

Please feel free to write back to me if something doesn't make sense, or you need some other kind of help.

Blessings,
Teresa in WV
List Shepherdess
www.HomeschoolOasis.com
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

BEShelton@aol.com wrote:
 

DEAR Teresa,

Bless your heart, dear sister!!!!!!!!  I'm so glad you wrote!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  God has you in JUST the place He wants you, and *has* wanted to get you for a long time, I imagine.    :-)    I'm sorry I don't remember you, but might if I met you in person again.  But no matter; the Lord has brought our paths together for a purpose, so let's start on finding out what that is...

{{ I am in desperate need of help as I have lost my vision, desire, and control of my situation. I wondered if you have a "for pay" service that would help evaluate my children's educational needs and/or lack of essential knowledge.}}..................You don't need to have your children evaluated, as far as I'm concerned.  You need to "renew your mind."  Start with this article at my website:

    http://www.homeschooloasis.com/help_article_1st_page.htm

At the very bottom of that article it says (below and above a row of roses):

         For an overview of my course, start here.

Read that page next (after reading the whole "Help!..." article), and THEN read the link about "Season of Re-education and Renewing of the Mind."

{{ I wonder sometimes if they are maybe 1-2 years behind where they should be.}}..................Read this article next:
   
    The Heart of Testing and Grade Placing

{{For that I feel so ashamed. I always told myself that I would continue to homeschool until I felt that I was doing more harm than good. I must admit that is where I am at in my thinking at this time. I have been feeling the extreme guilt of doing my children intellectual damage, and just need to do something to fix it or turn it around.}}...................Oooooooooooh TERESA!!!  The Lord wants to change all this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{{ I need to be pointed in the right direction or get some solid advice.}}...................OK, THAT is what my course, which I have called "A Season of Re-education and Renewing of the Mind will do.  You don't need a quick seminar or a "good talk" from me; you need a transformation of your MIND; how you *think*; how you SEE...  If you actually think that putting your children into public or even private school is better for them than homeschooling, then your thinking is waaaay off ~ unless your home is abusive, or (truly) negligent.  And if there *are* some lacks, then rather than putting your children in school, you need to stop where you're at, hear the Lord (which you already ARE!), and allow Him to begin this process of "transforming you by the renewing of your mind" ~ and your HEART will get transformed and healed in the process!!!

{{ I know you are so busy, so am I. That's part of my problem. I am so time taxed.}}..................Part of my course is focused on helping you in that area!!!

{{ I would be so thrilled to feel hopeful once again about my children's education.}}...................YES!!!!!  That perfectly describes the heart of my ministry!!!

{{ I appreciate any info you could give.}}...................Thoroughly and prayerfully reading all the above articles is where *I* suggest you start!  I have included Teresa, one of my online secretaries in with this response so that she can give you a bit more direction and encouragement.  She will also invite you to join one or more of the lists that are based on my message.  Teresa, meet Teresa; and Teresa, meet Teresa!!!!!!   ;-D   [big group hug:   {{{8o}}}  ]

Warmly,
Barb

================================
 

Subj:Please help...
Date:3/30/2005 9:33:09 AM Pacific Standard Time
From:teresafreese@hotmail.com
To:beshelton@aol.com
Sent from the Internet


Hi Barb,
My name is Teresa Freese. I am a homeschooling mom of 7. My oldest daughter
is recently married, so make that a hs mom of 6. We have homeschooled for
12-13 years and moved to the Winlock area about 6 yrs ago. I have met you
before and we have a mutual friend, Melissa Philbrook, who speaks so highly
of you.
I am in desperate need of help as I have lost my vision, desire, and control
of my situation. I wondered if you have a "for pay" service that would help
evaluate my children's educational needs and/or lack of essential knowledge.
I wonder sometimes if they are maybe 1-2 years behind where they should be.
For that I feel so ashamed. I always told myself that I would continue to
homeschool until I felt that I was doing more harm than good. I must admit
that is where I am at in my thinking at this time. I have been feeling the
extreme guilt of doing my children intellectual damage, and just need to do
something  to fix it or turn it around. I need to be pointed in the right
direction or get some solid advice.
I know you are so busy, so am I. That's part of my problem. I am so time
taxed.
I would be so thrilled to feel hopeful once again about my children's
education. I appreciate any info you could give.
Sincerely,Teresa Freese  (295-3355)